am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
