Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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