God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
