i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
