WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize