when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize