none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just google imaged poop.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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