I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
