Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
