woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
