Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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