Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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