it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
