Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I can't put those talents on a resume
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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