A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
