This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
