if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
