there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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