her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
