Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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