Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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