I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
