There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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