If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
