and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just forgot I was standing up.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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