1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
What happened to fro yo and sex?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
