bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
