my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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