Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
