Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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