ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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