butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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