Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
