didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
its not stalking. its research.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Randomize
