We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
