There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
