can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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