tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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