Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Everything about him screamed your future.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize