I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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