i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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