Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
