I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
