so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize