So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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