I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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