never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize