DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
