How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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