You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
