1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
