omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
