I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
