What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize