i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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