Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
