erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
