$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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