Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
