And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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