I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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