I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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