i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I will pee on everything he values.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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