I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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