This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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