Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
