I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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