i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
How external is "for external use only"?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
