even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize