I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
