You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
