Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
