i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Enjoy the penises
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
