So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
