I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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