Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
