We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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